"What's that? Now it's making an appeal to reason? Never! Do you hear me, you eloquent, well-read behemoth? Never!"

"We'll die before we recognize what we secretly know to be true! The cognitive dissonance only makes our denial stronger! We have but one hope left: passive-aggressive slights disguised as impersonal discourse. Okay, everyone, careful now…careful… if this is going to work, we have to arrogantly assume that it won't be smart enough to catch on to our attempt to salvage some feeling of superiority and — oh, God, it's calling us out! Quick, avoid eye contact and stammer an apology! Tell it we were just joking! Tell it we were joking!"