"You’ll learn lip-o-suction, the music kiss, the Trobriand Islands kiss, and many more."

Kissing lessons. Only $155.

• You’ll master the counterkiss, one of the most important kissing skills.
• You’ll learn to kiss for the sake of kissing.
• You’ll enjoy kissing more....

The counterkiss.... You wouldn't want to fail to retaliate.

Keep in mind that this is a great gift for teens. Parents can order the lesson for a child who they want to learn how to kiss.

Uh, thanks, Mom.

Or it is a great gift to give your significant other.

It says so much.

Imagine being able to boast to your friends that you completed a kissing course with the world’s leading authority on kissing, author of The Art of Kissing. People will be lining up to kiss you! And ultimately the kissing lesson is more entertaining that a night at the theater.

People will be lining up to kiss you... That's just scary.

Q. Does the kissing doctor come to my home or must I go to his office?

A. No house calls. Lessons are only available in his office...

FYI, he's in Jersey City.

No, I wasn't looking for kissing lessons. And I'm really not looking for kissing lessons now. I was just reading CNN.