"Si te gusta el sexo oral, vote por Caragol por consejal."

("If you like oral sex, vote Caragol for council.") Just some political slogan in Hialeah, Florida, which the Miami Herald informs us is "no laughing matter." The Miami Herald isn't going to tell me when to laugh.

"People want to give it a negative interpretation, but anyone who knows me and my way of being knows that I didn't mean for the comment to degrade or offend anyone,'' [Jose "Pepe" Caragol told The Miami Herald.

"My way of being" — I love that. I'm going to use that. Anyone who knows my way of being knows....

Caragol's opponent, Mercy Dominguez, wants us to know "that as a mother and a woman she finds the phrase offensive."

Caragol is quick to note that Dominguez did not point out the rest of the zingers he dished out at the Seguro Que Yes! taping.

''I also said that I was the only V-I-P councilman appointed to the board,'' Caragol said. "Viejo, impotente, y presumido -- old, impotent, and vain.''

For now, Caragol says he'll be sticking to a new campaign slogan -- "Olvídese del colesterol, y vote por Caragol'' -- "Forget the cholesterol and vote for Caragol.''

The man is an irrepressible poet. The woman is a dreary scold. Life goes on.